Last Wednesday, life threw me a (yet, another) curve ball. While I knew it was probably coming, my daughter was diagnosed as highly autistic. What I wasn’t expecting was the news that there is concern she is also having tiny seizures and needs to be tested for that. Scary, to say the least.
I think I was numb to it all until two days ago.
As a single mom of two toddlers, life is VERY BUSY. Not a lot of time to sit with my thoughts or really process news like I received. So, as I have found, emotions/grief can creep up and surprise me at unlikely times. Writing helps me process and is very therapeutic for my mind and soul, so I really need to start doing more of that. Maybe some here, and in journaling.
Anyway, two days ago we went to a fun little picnic that my aunt’s chiropractic center was putting on (I know, so random). It was great, a beautiful day to boot. But, there was enough time at the picnic and on the 1 hour round-trip commute for me to be able to think and for the sadness to bubble up and overflow.
So. Many. Tears.
It needed to happen (the crying release) and I felt a bit better after, but sheesh. I am learning about autism, but there is soooooo much I don’t know. I know even less about the seizures, but I now feel like someone is strangling my heart every time I see her stare off. I didn’t realize how painful it can be waiting for answers or a cure when your child is not well. I want answers YESTERDAY!
So where I sit today is learning. Learning about Autism Spectrum Disorder, learning about seizures and learning patience. None of which is easy. But life isn’t always easy. Thanks for letting me share a bit of my heart here today (if anyone is reading, haha😄). Let’s learn together!